Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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