What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
