How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
