I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
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he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
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Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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