You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
