Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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