I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
