You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
