Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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