I swear she didn't look like that last week.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
