after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
