the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
