Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
farters have to be the big spoon...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
