Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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