he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
