i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize