If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
