i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
