Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
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Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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