Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
