your parents love me but you hate me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
