Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
