My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize