They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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