Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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