Where is the hickey?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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