You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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