just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
