Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
