mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
