Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
