I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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