Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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