whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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