obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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