I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
