white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
