Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
