I wish you could order shots online.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
