Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
