apparently the secret to your success is patron
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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