I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
