does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
