but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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