Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
