you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
