So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
soo... how was my night?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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