You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Randomize
