i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
