is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
