also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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