Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
