We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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