over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
