Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize