wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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