I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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