i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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