If that was your dad, he is hot
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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