Well apparently he's into motor boating.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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