whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
