so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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